🚨 The 5 Biggest Mistakes Fundraisers Make During Solicitations (and How to Avoid Them!)

It's almost too easy to worry about making mistakes during major gift solicitations. Raise your hand if you've ever walked out of a donor meeting thinking, “Oh my gosh, I totally messed that up.” 🙋‍♀️ My hand is raised!

We've all been there. I’ve had incredible wins, but also some cringeworthy failures. And let’s be honest—it’s the failures that teach us the most.

Soliciting a major gift is a big deal. It can feel stressful, even though it should be joyful! The uncertainty of what the donor will say can send your brain spiraling. What if I ruin this relationship? What if they say no? What if they kick me out of their house? (Spoiler alert: that never happens. But the mind loves worst-case scenarios.)

Today, I want to help you avoid the biggest solicitation mistakes I see fundraisers make every single day. These mistakes are costing you gifts, so let’s fix them.

❌ Mistake #1: Asking Too Soon

🚨 A great solicitation is 90% cultivation, 10% ask.

One of the biggest mistakes I see fundraisers make is rushing the ask before they’ve built a rock-solid relationship with the donor.

Before you ask for a gift, you should know:
✔️ Why they give to your organization
✔️ What program or project they care most about
✔️ Whether they give from the head, heart, or gut
✔️ Their capacity and past giving history

Too often, fundraisers are so eager to “get to the ask” that they skip the relationship-building phase. But the truth is, the more intentional and strategic your cultivation, the faster you'll get to the ask naturally.

💡 Pro Tip: Instead of chasing 150 prospects, go deep with your top 20. If you focus your time on real, meaningful engagement, you’ll find that asks happen much more seamlessly—and successfully.

❌ Mistake #2: Talking Too Much

We’re fundraisers. We like to talk. We like people. We’re natural communicators.

BUT… in a major gift solicitation, the donor should be speaking more than you.

Here’s what I see happen: A fundraiser sits down with a donor, launches into their case for support, talks for 20 minutes straight… and then, right before the meeting ends, finally blurts out: “So, would you consider a gift?”

😵‍💫 The donor, glazed over and exhausted, barely remembers what was said.

💡 The Fix: Make your meeting a conversation, not a monologue. Ask open-ended questions, like:

• "What impact do you most want to make with your philanthropy?"
• "What legacy do you want to leave?"
• "What inspired you to start giving to our organization?"

And most importantly—when you ask for the gift, STOP TALKING.

Silence after the ask can feel awkward, but I promise you—the donor is thinking. Processing. Running numbers in their head. Let them be the first to speak.

❌ Mistake #3: Not Being Clear About What You're Asking For

🚨 Vague asks get vague answers.

You NEVER want to walk into a meeting and say, "Would you consider supporting us?" That’s too broad, and it puts the burden on the donor to define the gift.

Instead, be specific:
✔️ "Would you consider a $250,000 gift to fund this new cancer research initiative?"
✔️ "Would you consider a $25,000 gift to send 300 girls to summer camp?"

If your organization primarily seeks unrestricted gifts, tie it to impact:
✔️ "Would you consider a $40,000 gift to feed 3,000 meals this month?"

💡 Bonus Strategy: Instead of a single ask, offer a menu of giving opportunities—like event sponsorships, challenge gifts, and planned giving options. When donors have choices, they’re less likely to say no.

❌ Mistake #4: Not Handling Objections Well

🚨 Objections are NOT rejections. They are simply part of the conversation.

The fear fundraisers have isn't asking for a gift—it's hearing a no. But a "no" usually just means:
🔹 The timing isn’t right
🔹 They need more information
🔹 They need to discuss it with a spouse, CPA, or financial advisor
🔹 They need to hear from someone else, like the CEO or board chair

💡 The Fix: Have responses prepared. One of my favorite fundraising experts, Jerry Panas, had a great mindset about this: Turn a no into a maybe, and a maybe into a yes by asking questions.

Here are a few responses to keep in your back pocket:
🗣️ "What additional information would help you make this decision?"
🗣️ "Would it help if we included [Board Member/CEO] in a follow-up conversation?"
🗣️ "Would you like time to think about it? Let’s schedule a follow-up in a week."

🚀 Pro Tip: Check out this blog on even more strategies to get a YES!

❌ Mistake #5: Failing to Follow Up

This one kills me because it’s SO common.

You do everything right—you make the ask, the donor says, “I need to think about it”—and then… silence.

A lot of fundraisers take this as a soft no and don’t follow up. But here’s the truth: “Let me think about it” is NOT a no. It’s an invitation to continue the conversation.

💡 How to Follow Up Like a Pro:
✔️ The Next Day: Send a thoughtful email or handwritten note, thanking them for the conversation.
✔️ Within a Week: If they’re still undecided, follow up with, "How’s your thinking going? Is there any information I can provide?"
✔️ If It’s a No: Keep the door open! "Thank you for considering this. I’m grateful for your support, and I’ll keep you in mind for future opportunities."

🚨 Failing to follow up = leaving money on the table. Don’t ghost your donors. Keep the relationship alive.

🎯 Final Thoughts: Avoid These Mistakes & Raise More Money!

Mistakes happen, but if you can avoid these five, you’re ahead of 90% of fundraisers out there:

✅ Don't ask too soon—build the relationship first
✅ Don't talk too much—let the donor speak
✅ Be specific—give a clear ask amount and purpose
✅ Be prepared for objections—they’re part of the process
✅ Follow up, follow up, follow up—no matter the outcome

👉 What about you? What’s the biggest mistake you’ve made in a donor meeting? Share your story in the comments!

And if you want to get better at handling objections, check out my free Objection Handling Guide (linked below). It’s packed with scripts and strategies to help you turn “not now” into a “yes.”

Until next time, fundraiser—go out there and make some magic happen! 🚀✨

P.S. If you found this blog helpful, share it with a fellow fundraiser who could use a confidence boost before their next big ask! 🙌