The #1 Trait That Sets Top Major Gift Officers Apart (And How You Can Develop It)

Hey, fundraisers! Today, we’re diving into what I believe is the most important trait that sets the top major gift officers apart. I know—it sounds like a bold claim, right? After all, there are so many qualities that go into being a successful MGO: persistence, empathy, creativity, attention to detail…the list goes on. But this one trait? It’s a true game-changer.

So, what’s the magic trait that makes an MGO really stand out? It’s resilience. Yep, resilience—the ability to keep going, adapt, and bounce back, especially in the face of challenges.

Now, you might wonder why resilience ranks so high in major gift work. Fundraising is rewarding, but it’s also a rollercoaster. We face rejections, long cultivation timelines, and sometimes months or even years of nurturing relationships without seeing immediate results. You know the saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”? Well, in fundraising, it should be: “If at first you don’t succeed, adapt, learn, and try with even more determination.”

Without resilience, even the most talented MGOs burn out, and that’s something we want to avoid. Resilience allows us to stay energized, innovative, and effective, even on the tough days.

Resilience isn’t just about handling disappointment. It’s about proactively strengthening your mindset, shifting your approach, and using challenges as opportunities for growth.

Let’s start with the first key to resilience:

1. Major Gift Officer - Mindset Mastery

Resilience starts with mindset. We can’t control every outcome, but we can control how we respond to each outcome. A resilient MGO approaches every interaction with an open, growth-oriented mindset.

For example, let’s say you’ve been cultivating a major prospect for months, and when you finally make the ask, you get a polite but firm “No, thank you.” This could feel like a major setback. But a resilient MGO reframes it as valuable information. They might think, “Alright, that’s one outcome. Now, what can I learn from this? How can I improve for the next opportunity?”

A resilient mindset means that every experience, even the difficult ones, is a chance to learn, refine, and get closer to a “yes” the next time around.

2. Consistency in Building Relationships

The second element of resilience is consistency. Fundraising isn’t about one-off interactions—it’s about building deep, meaningful relationships over time. And sometimes, that means reaching out consistently, even when you don’t see immediate results.

For example, a resilient MGO knows that even if they don’t get a response to every email or call, they’re staying top-of-mind with the donor. Maybe a prospect doesn’t respond to three emails, but they appreciate the updates. And then, on that fourth outreach, they’re ready to engage. Consistency builds familiarity and trust, and resilient fundraisers know that persistence is what creates momentum over time.

So, ask yourself: Are you following up consistently with your donors? Are you reaching out regularly, even when it feels like there’s no immediate progress? That’s resilience in action.

3. The Ability to Innovate and Adjust

Next up, resilience is all about being adaptable. Top MGOs know that no two donors are the same, and sometimes, you have to switch up your approach to meet a donor’s unique preferences or timing. A resilient fundraiser doesn’t take a “one-size-fits-all” approach. They’re ready to pivot, adjust, and find new ways to engage when things don’t go as planned.

For instance, let’s say you’ve been nurturing a prospect, but every time you propose a formal meeting, they’re hesitant. Rather than giving up, a resilient MGO might adapt and suggest an informal lunch or even a quick call. They’re flexible and ready to adjust based on the donor’s communication style.

So, if you ever feel like a strategy isn’t working, remember: resilience is about adjusting, not giving up. Sometimes a small tweak in your approach makes all the difference.

4. Managing Emotions and Preventing Burnout

Fundraising is emotional work! We’re deeply connected to our mission, we care about our donors, and we’re committed to making a difference. But that can also mean we’re susceptible to burnout if we don’t protect our energy.

Resilient MGOs know how to manage their emotions. They recognize when they’re feeling overwhelmed, and they take proactive steps to recharge. Maybe that means setting boundaries to avoid overextending themselves, or simply taking time to reflect on the successes they have achieved.

When you get a “no” or have a tough day, are you taking time to process and reset? Are you celebrating the small wins along the way? These are resilience-building habits that keep us motivated for the long haul.

5. Cultivating a Support Network

Finally, resilient fundraisers don’t go it alone. They actively cultivate a support network of colleagues, mentors, and friends who understand the highs and lows of fundraising. A support network can be your sounding board, your cheerleaders, and even your source of new ideas.

So, if you’re not already connected with other fundraisers or a mentor, make it a priority. Having people around you who “get it” can make all the difference on tough days. You’re not alone in this work, and having a supportive network builds resilience by giving you encouragement and fresh perspectives when you need them most.

Now that we know what resilience looks like, let’s talk about practical steps you can take to build it into your daily life as an MGO.

1. Reflect on Wins and Losses Weekly: Take 10 minutes at the end of each week to reflect. Write down one win, one challenge, and one thing you learned. This helps you see growth over time, which is key to staying resilient.

2. Practice Self-Compassion: Fundraising is personal, but don’t take setbacks personally. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you’d show a friend. Self-compassion is a resilience booster.

3. Celebrate Milestones: Don’t wait until you close a gift to celebrate. Every quality contact, every deepened relationship, every “aha” moment in a meeting—celebrate it all. This reminds you that progress happens in stages.

4. Develop a Growth Mindset: Embrace challenges as opportunities. Instead of thinking, “This didn’t work, I failed,” think, “What can I learn from this for next time?” Resilience thrives on continuous growth.

5. Lean into Mentorship and Community: Connect with peers and mentors who understand your journey. Join fundraising groups, attend conferences, or simply reach out to a colleague. Sharing experiences helps you keep perspective and learn new strategies.

Resilience might not sound flashy, but it’s truly the #1 trait that sets top MGOs apart. Why? Because resilience isn’t just about bouncing back—it’s about growing, learning, and finding creative ways to keep moving forward, even when things get tough. And the more resilient you become, the more unstoppable you’ll be in your role.

Take these steps to strengthen your resilience daily, and watch how your energy, confidence, and results improve. Resilience is the secret ingredient to thriving as an MGO, no matter what challenges come your way.

Let’s keep moving forward, fundraisers. You’ve got this!